Archive for the '1.08 VaYishlach' Category

Achilles Heel

In Greek mythology, when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die young . To prevent his death, his mother Thetis took Achilles to the River Styx, which was supposed to offer powers of invulnerability, and dipped his body into the water. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, he had a chatzitza and  his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river. Achilles grew up to be a man of war who survived many great battles. But one day, a poisonous arrow shot at him was lodged in his heel, killing him shortly after.

Achilles’ name can be analyzed as a combination of ἄχος (akhos) “grief” and λαός (Laos) “a people, tribe, nation, etc.” In other words, Achilles is an embodiment of the grief of the people. Achilles’ role as the hero of grief forms an ironic juxtaposition with the conventional view of Achilles as the hero of kleos (glory, usually glory in war).

Achilles stands as an interesting foil for the person of Yaakov. In Vayishlach, this weeks Torah portion we read:

25 And Yaakov was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. 26 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Yaakov’s thigh was strained, as he wrestled with him. 27 And he said: ‘Let me go, for the day breaks.’ And he said: ‘I will not let you go until you bless me.’ 28 And he said to him: ‘What is your name?’ And be said: ‘Yaakov.’ 29 And he said: ‘Your name shall be called no more Yaakov, but Yisrael; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.’ (Genesis 32:25-29)

What is Yaakov’s name? As we learn from Toldot, Yaakov was named for when he was born he was grabbing the heel of his brother Esav. Through his adolescence he seems weak compared to his hunter brother living as a tent dweller. Here, this week, he returns as a warrior having worked hard in the world for many years, confronted his father-in-law, and now wrestling this angel. Having struggled with men and God he is renamed Yisrael. Like Achilles Yisrael is the glory of his  people, tribe, and nation. And interestingly he gets this name when he in injured.  Esav is not his Achilles Heel as his name Yaakov might have indicated. Ultimately his Achilles Heel is he himself  both his physical hip and his own character. Confronting the angel is how he can resolve his years in exile. All to often we  point at other people instead of ourselves as the source of conflict in our lives. In the end when we mature we grow and accept that we are the ones that need to choose to change. What makes Yisrael great is not his being perfect or Godly, but rather his being vulnerable and human.  Our collective Achilles Heel is thinking that there is any glory in war. Yisrael’s glory to be emulated is being introspective and reflective from a position of strength.

 

 

 

Footsteps

One night I dreamed I was walking along a path on a pristine beach. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes the path was well worn, other times it seemed that I took the path less traveled, and still yet other times I had blazed my own trail. What bothered me was that I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see that the otherwise clear path was muddled and unclear. So I cried aloud, “What about the promise that if I followed the path, it would always guide my way. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has no clear path in the sand. Why, when I needed guidance most, I was left alone with no direction?”

And then I was quiet and I heard a still small voice reply, “The years when you could not see a path is when we wrestled, we are always together Yisrael.”

-Adapted for Parshat VaYishlach from Mary Stevenson, 1936

- Reposted with better picture

Returning to Camp

As we will see in VaYishlach, this week’s Torah portion, Jacob splits his family and live stock into shnei machanot- two camps- as a defensive measure in preparation for confronting his long estranged brother Esav. Under the cover of darkness Jacob sends the two camps over the river and then returns back over the river. As we all know too well. There is where faces an angel by himself and wrestles till day break. There we read:

Vayivater Yaakov Livado vaYe’avek Ish imo ad  olot haShachar. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. (Genesis 32:25)

Rashi explains that the verb vaYe’avek is connected to the word avak- dust. As to say that they wrestled and got all dusty.

As well as we know the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel, we often forget where it all happened. As we learned in VaYetzei, last week’s Torah portion, this happened in  Machanaim. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob resolved to return home. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob realized his fear of Esav. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob split his family into two Machanot- camps. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob realized the value of small things ( See Rashi). It was there in Machanaim that Jacob wrestled with the angel. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob stopped running or could not run any more ( see hip injury). It was there in Machanaim that Jacob realized who he was. It was there in Machanaim his name was changed from Jacob to Israel. It was there in Machanaim that we became Israel. Surely that place was Machaneh Elokim- God’s camp.

I work for the Foundation for Jewish Camp. I have been a camp person since 1983 when my parents sent me off to my first summer at Camp Ramah in the Poconos.  It was there in Machane where I felt most at home. It was in Machane where I felt like I was building a community. It was in Machane where I learned to daven, despite  going to day school my whole life. It was in Machane that I first connected to the people, land, and Torah of Israel. It was in Machane where I wrestled with who I wanted to be. It was in Machane where I realize who I was.  It was in Machane that I no longer felt that I needed to live a bifurcated life.  There in camp I did not have to separate into different parts. It was in Machane that I first experienced being a complete person. It was in Machane where I realized the eternal value of small acts. Is it strange to say at 36-years- old with three children that I miss those paper plate awards? It was in Machane as a staff member where I first earned a name for myself as a Jewish Educator.  It was there in Machane that I first met an Israeli who was not related to me. And for many of us camp people it was in Machane that we became Israel. We are all blessed to have discovered Machane. Surely that place is  Machaneh Elokim- God’s camp.

I feel so fortunate to be able to return to Machanaim. I can tell you as clear as day that camp is under my skin. Camp people do not need to be in camp to have camp in us. We will never brush the dust of camp off. That is what makes us Israel.

I often ask myself what does it mean to me to return to camp as an Adult. Years ago I read  Rabbi Neil Gillman’s  Sacred Fragments. It was there that I was introduced to Paul Ricoeur’s 2nd Naïveté. Ricoeur wrote “Beyond the desert of criticism, we wish to be called again.” (SE, p. 349) In this second naïveté, scripture, religious concepts, and camp itself are seen as symbols, (i.e. metaphorical constructs) that we now interpret “in the full responsibility of autonomous thought.” (SE, p. 350) This means we accept that the myths we held as truth in the first naïveté are in fact myths, but having passed through the critical distance, we begin to reengage these concepts at a different level. We no longer accept them at face value, as presented by religious authorities, but rather interpret them for ourselves, in the light of having assumed personal responsibility for our beliefs. (Source of these quotes)

At first for Jacob Machanaim was a place for him to celebrate his return home from years with Lavan. He escaped years are hard labor with a a large family and a large mass of wealth. His first Naïveté was a great story. Jacob was a regular Horatio Alger. But then with the chips on the table when he was about to confront his brother, Jacob returns to Machanaim. This time he does not have his family or his wealth. Now in his return to Machanaim he is as alone as the day he fled home. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob wrestled with his identity. It was there in Machanaim that Jacob rewrote his own narrative. Machanaim was his 2nd Naïveté.

What does it mean for me to return to Machane a second time to relook at the myth of camp? That story I am still rewriting. What I can say as of now is that I have learned is that camp is still magical, but it is not magic. And still after all of these years I can still say that place is  Machaneh Elokim- God’s camp. Now I am trying to figure out how to share it.

 

– This is the product of a conversation I had last week with Jeremy Fingerman, the CEO of the Foundation for Jewish Camp, in preparation for his visit to Toronto to celebrate  Ramah Canada turning  50. It also served as an introduction to a talk I gave this past week to the  Rabbinical School Student Association at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America.

Night Terrors

The other night our son Yadid woke us up with his night terrors. He was hysterical and  Adina and I could not figure out a way to console him.  He was screaming and seemed horribly frightened. Adina and I were pretty sure he was not awake, but we just could not let him struggle there alone.

Reflecting on that image of my son struggling alone in the night, it is hard not see it in light of this week’s Torah portion when Jacob was attacked by an angel. Here in VaYishlach we read,

And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was strained, as he wrestled with him. And he said: ‘Let me go, for the day breaks.’ And he said: ‘I will not let you go, until you bless me.’  And he said unto him: ‘What is your name?’ And he said: ‘Jacob.’ And he said: ‘Your name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.’  Genesis 32:25-29

From our inception as the people of Israel, it seems that it is supposed to be tough to be a Jew. Or in the words of Rabbi Levi Lauer, ” Comfort is not a Jewish value”. So while fear, struggle, and discomfort might be good  in that they will keep us vigilant and safe, too much is debilitating. Jacob is at once all alone and at the same time deeply connected to God. While in the case of Jacob, the  experience of being by himself might have made him stronger, Adina and I could not just stand idly by and do nothing for our son.

We climbed into his bed to hold him and assure him that everything was going to be alright. We wanted to make it all better. We needed to do something to make sure that he did  not get hurt physically or mentally.

So even with both of us there holding him in the bed, it seemed to us that nothing was working. At this point Yadid kept on saying, ” I am scared. I am scared.” And in a moment of inspiration Adina said to him,”Give me your ‘scared’”. Yadid handed me “something”. But his heart was still racing and teeth were still chattering. I  said, ” You did not give it all to me, can I have the rest of your ‘scared’?” He handed me another “something”. And just like that he got calm. A moment later he was fast asleep.

Before we know it Yadid a five-year-old boy will grow up to be a young man. He will have to do his own bidding. He will have to find ways of struggling with his own angels by himself. I know that Yadid will not remember the experience of his night terrors, but some part of me wants him to remember that his mother and I are always here for him. (Why else do you think I am writing this blog?) I want him to remember that he has super powers. Can you imagine the capacity to get over your biggest fears like disposing a used tissue? But we know having this superpower would hamper his development because coping with fear is a life skill. We cannot prepare the path for our child, we can only prepare our child for the path.  We know that in terms of his emotions, he needs to learn how to walk by himself before he will be able to run. And yes, along the way he will also have to learn to hobble with the scars of the ‘scares’ of life.

Path in the Sand

blog footprintsOne night I dreamed I was walking along a path on a pristine beach. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes the path was well worn, other times it seemed that I took the path less traveled, and still yet other times I had blazed my own trail. What bothered me was that I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see that the otherwise clear path was muddled and unclear. So I cried aloud, “What about the promise that if I followed the path, it would always guide my way. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has no clear path in the sand. Why, when I needed guidance most, I was left alone with no direction?”

And then I was quiet and I heard a still small voice reply, “The years when you could not see a path is when we wrestled, we are always together Yisrael.”

Adapted for Parshat VaYishlach from Mary Stevenson, 1936


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