Posts Tagged 'Simon Sinek'

Take Heart: Learning from Worthy Rivals

Published February 3, 2023 2.04 Beshalach Leave a Comment
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Over the past few Torah portions we have returned time and again to the troupe of Pharaoh’s heart being hardened. There are many different explanations as for why this is the case. Regardless due to the sheer number of references to it happening, it cannot be dismissed as trivial. But why is it important?

And in Beshalach, this week’s Torah portion the Israelites are finally let go. You would think that enough would be enough, but no we still learn that God is not done hardening Pharaoh’s heart. There we read:

The Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh, king of Egypt, and he chased after the sons of Israel as the sons of Israel were going out boldly.

Exodus 14:8

So, what do we learning from all of this heart hardening stuff?

In many ways Pharaoh represent the architype in our history, hell bent on the death of the Jews. But in many ways we are missing the lesson. To anyone who knows me knows that I am big chassid of Simon Sinek.

In the Infinite Game, his new book, he wrote:

Traditional competition forces us to take on an attitude of winning. A Worthy Rival inspires us to take on an attitude of improvement. The former focuses our attention on the outcome, the latter focuses our attention on process. That simple shift in perspective immediately changes how we see our own businesses. It is the focus on process and constant improvement that helps reveal new skills and boosts resilience. An excessive focus on beating our competition not only gets exhausting over time, it can actually stifle innovation.

The Infinite Game

What might we learn from Pharaoh if we see him as a worthy competitor? One thing is being determined. While there are a few different languages we use in the Torah to talk about Pharaoh’s heart hardening, the most common is Hazak. We see the same language used for Joshua when he is charged with the impossible task of replacing Moshe as the leader. There we read:

“Hazak- Be strong and resolute, for you shall apportion to this people the land that I swore to their fathers to assign to them. But you must be very Hazak- strong and resolute to observe faithfully all the Teaching that My servant Moshe enjoined upon you. Do not deviate from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Let not this Book of the Teaching cease from your lips, but recite it day and night, so that you may observe faithfully all that is written in it. Only then will you prosper in your undertakings and only then will you be successful. “I charge you: Hazak- Be strong and resolute; do not be terrified or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:5-9

In an interesting way we see their charge to Joshua is to be like the worthy rival of Pharaoh. Today more than ever we surround ourselves with people who share our convictions and vilify those we disagree with. In this divided political climate we need to have the strength to be asking ourselves what we can learn from our worthy rivals.

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Mixed Multitudes and the Infinite Mindset

Published January 7, 2022 2.03 Bo Leave a Comment
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Amidst the narrative of our liberation from Egypt, we learn that the Israelites were not the only one’s to get redeemed from slavery. There in Bo, this week’s Torah portion we read:

Moreover, an Erev Rav – mixed multitude went up with them, and very much livestock, both flocks and herds.

Exodus12:38

Different commentaries explain this Erev Rav. Where they converts, freeloaders, refugees smuggling themselves out with the live stocks, or fellow travelers? In any case there was a great mixing between the Israelites and other freed slaves that were redeemed at the same time.

It is clear the in Genesis the emergent nation of Israel was a family, but in Exodus they are already a people and the lines of who is in and who is not is blurry. For most of our history those lines were more black and white. These divisions were clear because of a larger politics, more brazen anti-Semitism, or particularistic practices. With the advent of the enlightenment many of these lines became blurry. What does it mean to be Jewish? Over time the rates of intermarriage just keep rising? Again we find ourselves amidst these mixed multitudes. What do we make of our fellow travelers?

I was struck recently when I saw this picture of two popular culture icons.

Schitt's Creek's Dan Levy and Parks and Recreation's Rashida Jones Interview
Rashida Jones and Dan Levy

Both Rashida Jones and Dan Levy have a Jewish and a non-Jewish parents. How do we make sense of the Jewish people, nation, family?

I was thinking about the reality of our mixed multitudes recently when reading The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek.  Published in 2019, the book starts with comparing two mindsets for playing any game: Finite Game and the Infinite Game. The concept was heavily inspired by James Carse’s book Finite and Infinite Games as result, it initially summarizes Carse’s distinction between two different types of games. Simon Sinek explains that finite games (e.g. chess and football) are played for the purpose of ending play consistent with static rules. There are set rules, and every game has a beginning, middle and end, and a final winner is distinctly recognizable. Infinite games (e.g. business and politics) are played for the purpose of continuing play rather than to win. Sinek claims that leaders who embrace an infinite mindset, aligned with infinite play, will build stronger, more innovative, inspiring, resilient organizations, though these benefits may accrue over larger timescales than benefits associated with a finite mindset.

Sinek argues that business fits all the characteristics of an infinite game, notably that: there may be known as well as unknown players; new players can join at any time; each player has their own strategy; there is no set of fixed rules (though law may operate as semi-fixed rules); and there is no beginning or end. Further drawing on Carse’s work, Sinek extends the distinction between end states in finite games to claim that business, when viewed through an infinite mindset, do not have winners and losers, but rather players who simply drop out when they run out of the will, the desire, and/or the resources to continue play. According to Sinek, it follows that business leaders should stop thinking about who wins or who is the best and start thinking about how to build and sustain strong and healthy organizations. Simon Sinek considers Infinite Mindset as a necessity to be able to succeed in business for long term. The goal of winning is elusory, when we should be working toward resiliency. This Infinite Mindset allows companies to think better and survive infinitely. Simon Sinek lays down five essential practices necessary to have an Infinite Mindset.

This notion of an Infinite Mindset is not just relevant to a companies sustained success. It is also an interesting lens through which to explore these questions about our mixed multitudes. In the past we have framed intermarriage as a Finite Game. We were “winning” with endogamy and “losing” with marrying out. It seems more interesting to explore an Infinite Mindset. What is the long game? How might we keep playing? What role might these fellow travels have in helping us continue to play this game? Shimon Peres said, “It matters less if you parents are Jewish then if you kids will be. The Jewish future will be written by those who care.” Maybe we should be less focused on the mixed multitudes who came out of Egypt with us in the past, than where liberation might lead our future.

Start With Why: On Noah, Avraham, and 10th Grade

Published November 1, 2019 1.02 Noah , 1.03 Lech Lecha Leave a Comment
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My son Yadid was asked to give a D’var Torah at his 10th grade Shabbaton. I love how he really thought about the best message for his peers. What does it mean to be in 10th grade? I love how deep and inspiring he is. I love that he is exploring his passions. Enjoy:

In the beginning of this week’s torah portion, Noah is described as a tzadik, perfect in his generations; Ish Tzadik Tamim Haya B’Doratav. Why does the Torah write, in his generations- B’Doratav ?

Rashi answers this question saying that in comparison with his own generation Noah was accounted righteous, but if he had lived in the generation of Abraham he would have been nobody of significance. So I had to ask, WHY is Avraham the model Tzadik and WHY is Noah sub par? 

I recently saw a Ted talk by Simon Sinek, that helped me answer that question. He drew this chart to answer his own question, WHY are some leaders able to inspire, while others aren’t? And he explained it in the following way:

The Golden Circle

Every single person, every single organization knows WHAT they do. 100 percent 

Some know HOW they do it 

But very, very few people, or organizations know WHY they do what they do. What is your purpose, what’s your cause, what’s your belief? 

He explained that most people communicate from the outside in, starting with the what, and ending with the WHY. We should be doing things in reverse, like Apple. As Simek says:

They begin by saying everything we do, we believe in changing the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use, and user friendly. We just happen to make great computers, want to buy one? There’s nothing that makes Apple structurally better than any other company, their competitors are all equally qualified to make these products. In fact DELL tried this. They released an mp3 player. they make perfectly designed, quality products and nobody bought one. We can’t even imagine buying a MP3 player from DELL, WHY would you buy a MP3 player from a computer company, But we do it every day. People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it. The goal is not to do business with everyone who needs what you have. The goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe. 

So if Simon Sinek were to answer the question, WHY is Avraham the model Tzadik and WHY is Noah sub par? 

Noah is told to build an ark, that is the WHAT. He is given instructions, that is is the HOW. It is only after this that God even informs him of God’s plan to destroy the world. The WHY is to save the animals and humanity from the flood, but it comes after the WHAT and HOW. As we will see next week, Avraham starts with WHY. Lech Lecha– go to yourself, become your authentic self. HOW? Journey from your home of origin. WHAT? Build a great nation. Sinek would most likely say that Noah was like DELL. He went from the outside, in- WHAT, HOW, WHY whereas Avraham is like Apple- going from the inside out, WHY then HOW, then WHAT.

In preparing this Dvar Torah I thought to myself, what do all of us have in common, we are all in 10th grade. Last year 9th Grade was about orienting to high school. Next year is about the SATs and ACTs. And 12th grade is about college and Israel. But what is 10th??? It could be nothing, just a WHAT- going to class. This year could easily pass us by. Or, if we take advantage, 10th grade could be, no, should be the year we find our WHY!

I have been struggling to find my WHY, but after my dad pressured, day after day, I think I’m getting closer. My WHY is that I want to inspire people, my HOW is developing my public speaking skills, and my WHAT often is me talking with people, chilling, and right now, my WHAT is this Dvar Torah. Now I hope to inspire you to move beyond Noah, beyond the WHAT and HOW perspective, and think like Avraham, starting with WHY! 

Some of you might look at me asking “I don’t have my WHY, so what should I do?” My suggestion for you is to try one on! You might be worried that you will try out a WHY and realize it’s not for you, but as we learn from the sage, Rick Sanchez, from Rick and Morty, “It’s about the journey, not the destination” In the pursuit of our WHY’s, we will learn how to live passionately, inspiring others. 

Mark Twain said, “the two most important days in your life are when you are born and when you find out WHY.” so I ask of us, all of us, What is our WHY!??!   Thank you, and good shabbas. 

I am so proud of his guy. Clearly our family are Sinek Hassidim. Here are other pieces I have written over the years on his Torah:

On Organizational Coaching: Yitro Helps Us Start with Why

Published January 29, 2016 2.05 Yitro , Uncategorized 3 Comments
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In Yitro, this week’s Torah portion, the nation of Israel received the Torah. The Sinai experience, arguably the main event in our history, is introduced by and names for Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, coming to visit. Yitro is the consummate professional coach for Moshe and organizational coach for Moshe’s fledgling nation. Long before the modern Start-Up Nation, B’nai Yisrael was brand new entrepreneurial venture. Well, not exactly, it was actually a rebirth of an old brand that desperately needed to go through a re-branding process in order to make a big splash on the work marketplace of ideas. While the Jewish stock never took over the market, it has been a consistent blue chip product. It seems to be Yitro’s critique that brings about the giving of the Torah- the business manifesto for this Good To Great organization. There we read:

And Moshe’s father-in-law said to him: ‘The thing that you are doing is not good. You will surely wear away, both you, and this people that is with you; for the thing is too heavy for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself. Hearken now to my voice, I will give you counsel, and God be with you: you will be for the people before God, and you will bring the causes to God.( Exodus 18: 17-19)

Seeing Moshe working himself to the bone, Yitro gives him a plan to organize the adjudicating of the law. In order for them to keep the law they needed a system for teaching the people the law. They desperately needed a “re-org”. There is a natural progression from his suggestion to Mosche to the people getting the Torah at Sinai.  Yitro is playing the role of a great organizational coach. He helps them operationalize their success, but I do not think that is the limit of his consultancy.

If you have not seen, I would to encourage you to see Simon Sinek’s Ted Talk. He presents a simple but powerful model for inspirational leadership all starting with a golden circle and the question “Why”.

I think this is exactly what Yitro did right at the start of the portion. There we read:

Now Yitro, the priest of Midian, Moshe’s father-in-law, heard of all that God had done for Moshe, and for Israel God’s people, how that the Lord had brought Israel out of Egypt. And Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, took Zipporah, Moshe’s wife, after he had sent her away, and her two sons; of whom the name of the one was Gershom; for he said: ‘I have been a stranger in a strange land’; and the name of the other was Eliezer: ‘for the God of my father was my help, and delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.’ And Yitro, Moshe’s father-in-law, came with his sons and his wife to Moshe to the wilderness where he was encamped, at the mount of God. (Exodus 18:1- 5 )

It makes sense that in response to hearing about all of the trials, travails, miracles, and wonders that happened to his son-in-law that Yitro came to see Moshe. It even makes sense that he brought Moshe’s family for a reunion. It does not make sense that in the midst of this reunion the Torah went out of the way to explain the origin and meaning of Gershom and Eliezer’s names. What is the meaning of this?

In thinking about this I was reminded of an old joke. Mr. Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. “Herr Altmann,” said his secretary, “I notice you’re reading Der Stürmer! I can’t understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?” Mr. Altman replied,”On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more. It says that the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we’re on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know – it makes me feel a whole lot better!”

No matter how good or bad things are going we always have a choice as to which story do want to tell. Yitro is the consummate organizational coach. When he shows up he did not just bring his family, but he put before Moshe a choice. Which story did Moshe want to tell? Did Moshe want to tell the Gershom story that they were marginalized or the Eliezer story that they were in a relationship with a God that helped them? In choosing the story Moshe had to identify their ” Why”. Everything flows from this choice. How would they get to Sinai without a “Why”? They would only meet God – HaShem- the name in Hebrew when they picked a path. This might be the essence of the entire book of Exodus, Shmot- names in Hebrew. Which name do they choose for their “Why”?

More than ever we need to revisit Yitro’s guidance and advice. What story do we want to tell? Is being Jewish an articulation of being an “Anti- Anti-Antisemite” are or are we on a divine mission to help the world? Are we Gershom Jews or Eliezer Jews? Or do we need to make a new name for ourselves? All I know is that a good organizational coach should help us reflect on the fact that we need to start with our “Why”. Operationalizing our plans and efforts will be easy once we can name our 21st century “Why” .

Starting Your Passover with Why: Sinek on the Seder

Published April 2, 2015 Uncategorized 1 Comment
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I have often shared the fact that I am a Hassid of Simon Sinek.  And if you have not seen this TED talk please stop everything and watch it now.

In this video as in his book, Start With Why, Sinek has shared the simple charge to start with “why”. In the video  he said:

People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. If you talk about what you believe, you will attract those who believe what you believe. But why is it important to attract those who believe what you believe?

All to often people get lost in the “what” or the “how” and never get to the “why”.  If we do the heavy lifting of articulating our “why” the ” how” and the “what” come very easily for their personal, family, or organizational choices. When we build groups around a common “why” the sky is the limit.

I was thinking about Sinek again in preparation for Seder this year. The primary mitzvah of the Seder is,”And you shall relate to your child on that day, saying: ‘It is because of this that God acted for me when I came forth out of Egypt’. “(Exodus 13:8). But, what story are we supposed to tell our children? But maybe this itself is the wrong question. In the Seder we read:

Rabban Gamliel says that “whoever does not explain the following three things at the Pesach festival has not fulfilled his obligation, namely: Pesach, Matzah, and Maror”.

It is not enough to eat the Pesach, Matzah, and Maror. It is also not enough to eat reclining as if we were free people. The “what” and the “how” are not enough. According to Rabban Gamliel we need to explain the “why” to fulfill the obligation. If we can come together around our collective “why” we will figure out the answers to rest of the questions from our Seder. I have to say getting in touch with my personal “why” is itself very liberating.

Have a wonderful Passover and please share your “why” in your comments below.

Getting Past the “How” of Torah: For the Love of Learning

Published September 19, 2014 5.08 Nitzavim / VaYelech 3 Comments
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In Nitzavim VaYelech, this week’s Torah portion, we read about the reception of the Torah. There we read:

For this commandment which I command you this day, it is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that you should say: ‘Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say: ‘Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it to us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?’ (Deuteronomy 30:11–13)

Learning should be hard, but not to hard and definitely not out of reach. Here we see learning Torah depicted as some elaborate scavenger hunt. What zeal would we bring to trying to learn Torah if it was in fact hidden in the heaven or on the other side of the ocean?

I was thinking of this when I saw this article on dangerous journeys to school around the world. Here are two pertinent images:

Not in Heaven:

children-going-to-school-around-the-world-25

Beyond the Sea:

children-going-to-school-around-the-world-42

It is inspiring to look at the rest of the images. In the world there are so many barriers to education, but as you can see there is still a hunger to learn and grow.

In our community there are many efforts to make Torah more accessible, but still people feel alienated. What are we missing? Perhaps we have made Torah too accessible? We have lost our zeal. Would we try harder if it was in heaven or across the sea? But I do not think that is all of it.

We fail because we have not done a good job expressing the “why”? Yes I am Hassid of Simon Sinek.  And if you have not seen this TED talk please stop everything and watch it now.

Why is learning valuable? I have my thoughts on this, but for now I just want to put the question out there. In Sinek’s words,

People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And if you talk about what you believe, you will attract those who believe what you believe.

As we prepare for the High Holidays it is interesting to think about your own “why”. And once we figure out our “why” it will not matter if learning Torah is in heaven or across the sea, that is just a “how”.

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