-My cousin Adina Barocas’s Eulogy for my mother

Hello. I am Adina aka Eve’s favorite niece.  Before I talk about Eve, I want to give a HUGE shout out to my Mom, Rachel, and to her caregiver and friend, Carol. The two of them doted on Eve with the utmost of love and we are all forever grateful. 

My Tante Booboo spoiled me with affection, attention and unconditional love.  Eve used to love to take walks and I loved to walk by her side. We’d walk around the neighborhood, through craft shows, along the beach and into horse corrals. In recent years, distance and back pain limited Eve’s mobility so, we had virtual walks. I’d call her from the trailhead where I started my daily morning dog walks so we could still walk together. I’d send her photos of flowers, she’d listen out for birds chirping and she’d crack me up with the ridiculous species names that she made up. 

Booboo shared her love of crafts with me.  She was my biggest cheerleader and most honest critic of all of my off-beat creative pursuits.  She passed along her love of learning, cooking, mischief, sweet foods, community and, above all, family. 

We will soon recite eshet chayil, a song that traditionally a husband sings to his wife on erev Shabbat. The first line is

אֵשֶׁת חַֽיִל מִי יִמְצָא, וְרָחֹק מִפְּנִינִים מִכְרָהּ.

A woman of valor who can find? for her price is far above rubies. 

While Jim opted to bring Eve flowers on Fridays to express his appreciation (and to stay out of the dog house), anyone who knew my Aunt would agree that this line perfectly described her.  In the context of this song, the word chayil is translated as valor; however, the more common translation is soldier. Either translation would be an apt description of my Booboo; she  was all of that and more. She truly was a woman of valor, a soldier in the pursuit of fairness whether by protesting the Viet Nam war, integrating the school where she taught in Maryland, advocating for her clients or supporting and loving on her family. She was accomplished, competent, wise, kind and a caring and thoughtful wife, mother, sister, Oma, tante and friend.  Eve had exquisite taste especially when it came to jewelry which makes the first line of eshet chayil so apropos. Her rubies were indeed magnificent and her value to all who knew her even exceeded their value.

While attending a shiva years ago, I recall hearing someone say to the bereaved family that:

‘God will send you condolences, and will fill your heart with longing and joy, as well as with the joy of longing. Because longing for a loved one is also something that can make you happy. It means you had them. ‘  I’ve listened to saved voice mails that Eve left for me. Each of them ends with I love you. I already long for my Booboo and am immensely grateful for the lessons she taught me, her guidance and perspective but, most of all, her love.  יהי זכרה ברוך 

• Funny, Fierce and Feisty: My Sisters Eulogy for Our Mom
• Another Minute: Daniel’s Eulogy for Our Mother
• The Owl and Pussycat: Michael’s Eulogy for our Mother
• Mother of All: My Eulogy for My Mother

Please join us in learning the bible in preparation for our mother’s Shloshim. You can sign up to learn a chapter/book through here: http://hadranalach.com/2848