Last week was my mom’s Shloshim. Now with this time period of mourning my mother coming to an end I was preparing to reflect on the passing of both of my parents. My father’s 5th Yahrzeit is coming up soon. But alas, my personal process of mourning was overrun by our collective process with our preparation for Tisha B’Av.

As many of your know in honor of my mother’s shloshim along with my family and our friends we undertook learning the entire 24 books of the Bible. This translated into my learning a ton of books of the Bible that I am not that familiar. Included in there was Joel, one of the 12 smaller prophets. Joel begins by describing the devastation wrought by a locust plague and calling for repentance, fasting and prayer. Joel describes God’s future response to Israel’s reform, promising abundance and prophecy for all. He also tells of a future “great and terrible day of God” when the “sun shall turn to darkness” (Joel3:3-4) and Israel’s oppressors will be judged.

There is one line from Joel that I have been ruminating on. He says, “Lament like a virgin girded with sackcloth for the husband of her youth.”(Joel 1:8) What does this mean? On this Rashi explains that the word “Lament” is Aramic for Kinah. As in the Kinnot we say on Tisha B’Av. One can only imagine the deep anguish of a virgin mourning the death of her husband. The chapter goes on to describe the drying up of all the trees and the joy being dried up among the people- bnei adam. It is clear to me that this Joel is depicting the destruction in the color scheme of the Garden of Eden. The “virgin” in question is none other then Eve mourning the death “the husband of her youth”- Adam.

In my eulogy for my mother I spoke about how she really did live up to her name Eve- Chava bat Avraham v Rut. She was the mother of all things. Since my father passed the complications in their relationship dissipated into distant memories. Without his presence to remind of his foibles the memory of my dad could linger on as he was the love of her life. She would often say how angry she was at him. She would day, “He was supposed to die first”. Now looking back this sentiment from my mother seems to be a deep and profound reading of Joel’s prophecy. The anguish my mother had was for “the “”the husband of her youth”.

And now as I prepare for Tisha B’Av I realize that her pain is our pain. We all yearn for the time when love was new and full of potential. This is true for all of us in our relationships as we get older. We yearn for simpler times. It is also true for us as a nation. The Jewish people and God have been through a long and difficult history. On Tisha B’Av we mourn the relationship of our youth, when things were simple and brimming with potential. This year we also mourn for the Jewish State. We look back at the days when we were not so divided, our relationship could stand more stress, and we did not feel as though we were on the edge of a civil war.

Personally I want to take this moment as we enter into Tisha B’Av to express my gratitude for my Adam and Eve who curated the Garden of Eden of my youth. I had it good and I cannot complain. I also give tribute to the Founders of the State of Israel. We still have much to do to live up to the project they started, but we can never lose site of that love that brought us together to build the State of Israel. Maybe through the lens of Joel we can return to a vision of Eden and from there we can find a way back to the project of manifesting that vision.

Tzom Kal- Have a meaningful fast.

*I put together a lovely and related class looking at Reading and Rereading Rending in Jewish tradition which looks at the personal and collective mourning practices of Kriyah.