Stephen M. R. Covey said, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” What would humanity look like without trust. It is the fuel for life. We are wired biologically, neurologically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically to trust. Trust is the currency that drives every relationship, beginning with the foundational bond between infants and their mothers, extending to the trust networks that undergird every human endeavor – art, science, commerce – and binding together every relationship we have ever had or ever will have. Nothing in our world works without trust.

In his best selling book the Speed of Trust Stephen M. R. Covey shows how trust—and the speed at which it is established with clients, employees, and all stakeholders—is the single most critical component of a successful leader and organization. Why is trust so important? The simple, often overlooked fact is this: work gets done with and through people. To help these people operate more effectively we often resort to time-killing, bureaucratic check-and-balance processes. Why not invest in actual trust?

1. Trust increases speed and thus lowers costs in businesses.
2. You first have to trust yourself, because trust is similar to confidence.
3. Societal trust is especially important for businesses to cultivate by contributing

On the other hand, it is tempting to think that trust is simple, that we should be able to spot a lack of trustworthiness relatively easily. But we all have our stories about misplaced trust. We either missed clear or subtle warning signs or there just were not any warning signs to see. Everything looked good on the surface, and maybe it was. But we got burned anyway.

Covey argues that our greatest asset is our credibility. This is especially true during time of crises, unease, and unrest. There is no doubt that the proliferation of modes of communication today has not helped build trust in our emergent culture. To build trust sensitivity with how we communicate makes all the difference. To build trust we need to:

1. Confront Reality
2. Create Transparency
3. Tell the truth
4. Extend Trust to others
5. Show people that we care

I have been thinking about trust recently as today is my daughter Emunah’s birthday. As I have been doing each year since the start of this writing practice, I wanted to reflect on Emunah. Yes it is crazy- that means that I have been writing this blog for 14 years.

For the last 14 years when people ask me what her name means I often reply with the simple answer ‘faith’, but that does not exactly speak to our intention. While I am a Rabbi, faith has not been something that comes easily to me and not a name that I not necessarily wish upon our daughter. I found this quote by Martin Buber in his book Two Types of Faith that I keep coming back to that seems to get a little closer. Buber writes:

This ‘existential’ characteristic of Emunah is not sufficiently expressed in the translation ‘faith’, although the verb often does mean to believe לְהַאֲמִין (to believe someone, to believe a thing). It must further be noticed that the conception includes the two aspects of a reciprocity of permanence: the active, ‘fidelity’, and the receptive, ’trust’. If we wish to do justice to the intention of the spirit of the language which is so expressed, then we ought not to understand ’trust’ merely in a psychical [soulful] sense, as we do not with ’fidelity’. The soul is as fundamentally concerned in the one as in the other, but is decisive for both that the disposition of the soul should become an attitude of life. Both, fidelity and trust, exist in the actual realm of relationship between two persons. Only in the full actuality of such a relationship can one be both loyal and trusting.

Two Types of Faith 28-29

So in this sense I would say that Emunah’s name really means trust as in fidelity.

As Emunah headed off to high school in a few days I know that she will continue to seek more independence. This will mean that we have some complicated times ahead of us. Our relationship needs to be founded on Emunah- Trust. To do this we will need to move at the Speed of Trust. Along with Emunah will need to:

1. Confront Reality – Have honest talks about what is going on in our lives.
2. Create Transparency- Talk openly- especially through the tough conversations
3. Tell the truth- Even when it hurts
4. Extend Trust- Modeling the trust we want from her by offering it to her in advance
5. Show her that we care- because we love her deeply.

As Emunah takes the next step into becoming her adult self, together we have the opportunity to deepen our relationship. It will move at the speed of trust.

Other posts I have written about Emi over the years:

1. Dear Child to Me: On Emunah and this Blog
2. Little Birdy: Emunah and Protecting Our Children
3. 7 Years of Emunah: Reflections on Faith and Fidelity
4. Emunah Second Birthday
5. Our Type of Emunah
6. Our Blessing for Emunah
7. Fearless: On Emunah’s Bat Mitvah and being a Nazir
8. Blessing of Emunah: Reflections of Faith, Fidelity, & Trust for Emunah’s Bat Mitzvah