I do not get to watch that many shows, but a couple of months ago Adina made me watch the Bear on Hulu. It was extraordinary. I really have not seen such gripping TV in years. On the surface it is a show about creating a restaurant. On a deeper level it is a reminder of why we need to stop criticizing each other and recommit ourselves to a shared mission. I am not the only one who thinks it is quality. Eboo Petel wrote a great piece in the Chronicles of Philanthropy, ‘The Bear’ Should Be Required Viewing for the Nonprofit World.

(SPOILER ALERT: Do not read the rest of this post if you have not finished watching the second season of the Bear).

I have been thinking about the Bear as we prepare for Yom Kippur. There are a myriad of lessons to learn from Richie’s hero’s journey that is relevant to each of us on the holiest day of the year. In the first season see Richie. He is a schmuck. He is gruff, disrespectful, unhappy, and unfulfilled. The only redeeming factor is that he was very close with Michael. Even though he is not related to the family, he is their “cousin”. However, being the keeper of Michael’s tradition, he has habits and assumptions as to the way things should be done. In the second season as they embark on recreating the restaurant, these traits are destructive and keep him and them from realizing their potential.

In hopes of helping him understand his vision, Carmy sends Richie to stage at a Micheline Star Restaurant. There we see Richie struggling the remedial task of shining the cutlery as he feels that this is beneath him and meaningless. Seeing his frustration his supervisor takes him aside to explain to him his own motivation for this pedantic effort. Over time Richie experiences the joy of excellent service at the highest level and comes to understand Carmy’s vision.

Famed coach Vince Lombardi said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” After having seen excellence in the pursuit of perfection, Richie returns to the Bear dressed in a suit. He is newly enlightened to their and his own potential. It is best summarized when he tells Carmy, “Cousin, I get it now.”

None of us are perfect. We have all fallen short and have plenty to do Teshuvah for on Yom Kippur. But that is missing the point. If we just focus on our failings we will miss correcting the traits and habits that keep us from achieving our full potential. If we take the time and the have the discipline to shine every fork we will discover the joy and eventual fulfillment of the pursuit of perfection. Having a higher standard is not just for ourselves. To quote Marianne Williamson, “as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.”

At the highest level, Yom Kippur is not just about saying you are sorry. Instead on this day we stand before our loved ones and our community, to recognize our divine potential. It is too small minded to be judged by what we did wrong, rather we should be held accountable for the good we can do in he world. May we all be blessed on this Yom Kippur to take a moment to say, “I get it now.”

*Co-written with my son Yishama Frydman Orlow