At beginning of Parshat Vayigash, this week’s Torah portion, where we read of Yosef’s reconnecting with his brothers after they had sold him into slavery so many years previously. For Yosef even if many years has passed he knew exactly who they were. Some how even though they were standing there face to face with him, they brothers did not recognize him. How is this possible?

It was not just that Yosef passed for an Egyptian, he married into the priestly class of Egypt and his brothers did not recognize him. In his closeted identity, he enjoyed every privilege in Egypt. There we read:

Then Yosef could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried: ‘Cause every man to go out from me.’ And there stood no [Egyptian] man with him, while Yosef made himself known to his brothers. And he [Yosef] wept aloud; and the Egyptians heard, and the house of Pharaoh heard. (Genesis 45:1-2)

Yosef wanted to share with them who he was so engineered this Tête-à-tête. This made me think about the mean of Tête-à-tête. It is a private conversation, usually between two people. In French literally means “head to head.” The tête in tête-à-tête comes from Old French teste, from testa “head” in Vulgar Latin. Tête-à-tête entered English in the early 18th century.

Yosef could only reveal his true identity when they could connect “head to head”. In many ways this revelation of his hidden identity is foreshadowing for the Revelation at Sinai. There we read:

The Lord did not make this covenant with our fathers, but with us, even us, who are all of us here alive this day. The Lord spoke with you face to face in the mount out of the midst of the fire. (Deuteronomy 5: 3-4)

We need intimacy to foster vulnerability. As  Brené Brown, my vulnerability Rebbe, teaches:

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path. (Daring Greatly)

We need to pay attention to when we are called to be vulnerable and openhearted. From this place we can free ourselves and others. Once we have the Tête-à-tête, we find the birthplace for vulnerability, and the hidden is revealed. Just as is the case with Yosef, once we reveal this vulnerability we find the strength and our voice and everyone will hear the voice echoing out from Sinai.