Since my mother passed away I have been reflecting on my upbringing. Looking back it is clear that growing up in the 80’s was a wonderful. This makes me think how much we have failed our children and their entire generation. We marched on Washington for Russian Refuseniks and it worked. My children marched on Washington in the wake of October 7th and we have not idea if it will work. He had a care free time and our children will no know of this Golden Age of being Jewish in America. Maybe my memory is better in Kodachrome, but did we fail at giving this generation a better life then we were given?

For now I wanted to share one memory from my youth that keeps popping up for me. I loved playing Sardines. For those who do not know how to play, it is a variation of Hide and Seek. The first thing you need to do is designate a large playing area that has places to hide. My parents house of my youth was enormous. Not just in my memory, but in actuality it was a big house with many rooms and storage areas. Where in traditional Hide and Seek everyone hides and there is one person seeking, in Sardines one person hides and the rest of the group counts (you can decide what number to count to) and then splits up and goes looking for the player who is hiding. When a seeker finds the hidden person, the player joins him or her in the hiding place. The game is over once everyone is cramped in one place. The first person to find the hidden player, become the hider in the next round.

Between us and our cousins, we were 6 kids, so it was great game. It also holds a lot of memories of that house. As the youngest, it was one of the few games that I had an advantage in being the smallest. And of course, I loved being close to my family.

I am reminded this week of one of my favorite Hassidic stories.  The story goes that a Rebbe is walking and sees a little boy standing by a wall crying. The Rebbe asks the boy why he is crying. The boy replies that he was playing Hide and Seek with his friends and he thinks that his friends forgot about him. At this point the Rebbe starts crying and the boys asks him why the Rebbe is crying. The Rebbe responds, ” Now I understand how God feels “. If this is true about Hide and Seek, what do we learn from Sardines?

I share this memory and this story in our preparation for Purim fasting for Taanit Esther. What is the origin of this Fast Day? It is born out a critical moments in the Megillah is when Mordecai beseeches Esther to proactively meet with the king without being asked and reveal her hidden identity to save her people. After the whole Vashti affair Esther knows that it is risky but relents on the condition that the people fast with her in solidarity. There we read:

“Go, assemble all the Jews who live in Shushan, and fast in my behalf; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maidens will observe the same fast. Then I shall go to the king, though it is contrary to the law; and if I am to perish, I shall perish!” So Mordecai went about [the city] and did just as Esther had commanded him. (Esther 4:16-17)

The story turns on Esther’s leaning in and also Mordecai doing what he was commanded to do. The community comes together to support Esther. Esther is courageous and confronts the king. And as we know the whole plan comes together and the people are saved.

Where the Rebbe in the story is sad because we stopped looking for God in the world, God is completely absent from the story of Purim. In the critical moment the heroine of the story Esther is allowing herself to be found out and mandates that we fast with her to give her the strength to confront the king. In many ways she in inviting us to play Sardines in an effort of supporting her. We all seek to see and be seen in the world. We all want to be found. And we all want memories of being close to those we love. We could lament our not looking for God like the Rebbe or we could find new ways for us to connect with each other to make the world a better place.