In Acharia Mot, this week’s Torah portion we read:

The Lord spoke to Moshe after the death of the two sons of Aaron who died when they drew too close to the presence of God. The Lord said to Moshe: Tell your brother Aaron that he is not to come at will into the Shrine behind the curtain, in front of the cover that is upon the ark, lest he die; for I appear in the cloud over the cover. (Leviticus 16:1-2)

What could you possibly say to your brother after the tragic death of his two sons?

When the death happened in Parshat Shmini Aaron himself was silent. There we read:

Then Moshe said to Aaron, “This is what the Lord meant by saying: Through those near to Me I show Myself holy, And gain glory before all the people.” And Aaron was silent. (Leviticus 10:3)

It is easy to get lost in the anguish of the human condition. The pain of loss is the price of love. In this context, the silence makes sense. After the last 19 months with all of the hardship in Israel and Gaza, the question I am sitting with is, who can say anything at all? Ein Millim, there are just no words. In many ways I have been struggling with a writing block. What is worth writing about when you compare it to the hardship that Aaron was dealing with?

As I often do, when I do not have my own words I explore the wisdom from our tradition. In Perkei Avot Shimon the son of Rabban Gamliel taught:

All my days I grew up among the Sages, and I did not find anything good for a body but silence. And the exposition [of Torah] is not what is essential, but the action. And whoever increases words brings sin. (Avot 1:17)

I clearly agree that the actions speak loader than words, but what about the silent parts? Does bloviating bring sin? Does being quiet actually help your health?

Well my response to these question are “probably yes” and “probably not”. That is to say that I imagine that most of the sins perpetrated by most people these days are actually are the stupid and even libelous things people say online. That being said, I am suspect that much of this happens due to the lack of accountability in their being anonymous online. But when we look at the list of sins we repent for in the Vedui we say on Yom Kippur and on our deathbed, the plurality of these sins are related to our speech. So regardless, the answer is yeah. Being mindful of saying less would keep us away from doing the wrong things.

And regarding health, how is talking less good for your body? As much as I appreciate Aaron’s silence in that moment, I cannot the implications of Moshe telling him to be quiet. It is one thing to be at a loss for words or mindful of the location and Aaron choosing to hold back. It is another to be silenced. There is no way Aaron would ever truly recover after the death of his sons, but talking through his issues would be critical to his long term mental, emotional, spiritual, and social health. How could we ever silence another person who is in pain?

To quote Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton, “Sometimes the greatest way to say something is to say nothing at all”. We need to grow in our capacity to sit in silence, but we would never want to impose that on anyone. Well, I guess I did have something to say. Or, have I said too much?

*Related post- Say Something: Sitting with Painful Silence