Much of my life might be defined by enigma of my father. As much I look exactly like him, I do not feel like I ever really knew who he was. Yes I knew him, but there seems so much about him that I never really understood or connected with during his life. In that today his his 7th Jahrzeit, it seemed like a reasonable occasion to do some reflection on that.

My father’s name was James Joseph. I never really thought much about it in his life that James was a Norman adaptation of Hebrew name Yaakov (Jacob). The name passed through Greek (Iakobos), Late Latin (Iacomus), and Old French (Iacme) before being introduced to England by the Normans as James. It is interesting as the four of us all only had Jewish names while was always Big Jim. In what ways was my father a Jacob?

Jacob’s life begins in conflict, as he and his twin brother, Esau, struggle in their mother Rebekah’s womb. Jacob, the younger twin, emerges grasping his brother’s heel, foreshadowing their rivalry. From a young age, the brothers are stark opposites: Esau is a skilled hunter, while Jacob is a quiet, contemplative man. The conflict escalates when Jacob, with his mother’s help, deceives his aging father, Isaac, to steal the birthright and the blessing intended for Esau. This act forces him to flee for his life.

Without even going through the later chapters of Jacobs life, there is a ton to explore here regarding the my father’s life. My father had a younger brother David. He would often say that his brother David was an only child. As he understood it, David was really his mother’s favorite while my father was his father’s favorite. Which is not inherently problematic until his father died when my father was just 14. Just was there was tension between Jacob and Esau, there were issues between James and David. Yes, my father was the bachor– first born, but his Isaac was not alive to give him a blessing.

Even more interested to me is that depiction of Jacob as a contemplative person- yoshev ohalim. My father was wicked smart. I have many memories of his being lost in solitude of work and or thought. And even with his extraordinary high IQ, but pretty piss pour when it came to EQ. It was always a little awkward bringing friends over with his imposing intellect. I always wanted to make my father proud of my intellectual pursuits, but I had a long standing sadness for him and for me that we lacked that deep connection on an emotional level.

There is more to the stories of Jacob and James Joseph z”l, but enough for today. I am left thinking about how Jacob’s upbringing impacted his relations in his life. In meditating on that I come to deeper connection to my father’s memory. May the memory of Yaakov Yosef ben Avraham v’ Leah be for a blessing.