The central commandment of the Seder is to experience liberation from slavery in Egypt. We learn in the Talmud:
In each and every generation one is obligated to see themselves as if they went out from Egypt, as it says โAnd you shall tell you child on that day, saying: Because of this, God did for me when I went out from Egypt.โ(Exodus 13:8) Therefore we are obligated to offer effusive, beautiful praise and thanksgiving to the One who performed all these miracles for our ancestors and for us (Pesachim 116b)
But how could we ever experience something that happened to our ancestors thousands of years ago. Fundamentally this commandment is to have this experience. And if that was not hard enough to have this experience ourselves we also have to find a way to communicate this empathy to the next generation.ย
When thinking about this commandment I see a real risk that we miss the mark on empathy and become satisfied with sympathy. What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? If you have not seen it I suggest watching this short and great video by Brenรฉ Brown, my vulnerability Rebbe, on the distinction between empathy and sympathy
When you sympathize with someone you can notice their pain, but you only empathize when you actually sit with people in their pain. You can never take away someoneโs pain, but you can connect with them.
I think not as we start the last days of Passover I pause to realize thatย empathy is not just a lesson of the Seder.ย These last daysย commemorate our salvation at the Red Sea. Having just been liberated from slavery, our ancestors found themselves witness to the miracle of the Splitting of the Sea. One can only imagine their elation. And actually it is our commandment to imagine that elation.ย On this the Gemara says:
The Holy One, blessed be God, does not rejoice in the downfall of the wicked. For Rabbi Shmuel ben Nahman said in Rabbi Yonatanโs name: What is meant by, โAnd one approached not the other all nightโ? (Exodus 14:20) In that hour [When the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea ] the ministering angels wished to utter the song of praise before the Holy One, blessed be God, but God rebuked them, saying: My handiwork [the Egyptians] is drowning in the sea; would you utter song before me! (Sanhedrin 39b)
The Egyptians slavers are finally getting their just due, yet God experienced no pleasure in the process. Rejoicing in someone elseโs suffering is just wrong. And on another level this Gemara is asking us to empathize with God as the Creator. On a deep level in its totality Passover is a process of growing in our capacity to empathize with others if not even the Other.ย In light of this it seems that empathy might be the key to getting a group of slaves from Egypt to ascend to Sinai to receive the Torah. From start or finishย the Torah is about doingย gemilut hasadimโย act ofย loving kindness (Sotah 14a). What is an act of loving kindness beyond sitting with someone and empathizing with them?
This year I cannot help but center my feelings of empathy for the 133 hostages still being help in Gaza. They are our top priority. We cannot celebrate our freedom without working for the freeing of all of our hostages. And in addition I have been thinking about the thousands of innocents Palestinians suffering due to Hamas in Gaza. Hamas is evil and needs to be removed, but we should take no joy in the suffering of any innocent people. There were many miracles that brought about the exodus from Egypt, but we can never forget that God’s creatures are suffering and need our empathy.
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