Said to Myself

In Chukat, this week’s Torah portion, we read about Mosche striking the rock to get water. There we read:

“You and your brother Aaron take the rod and assemble the community, and before their very eyes order the rock to yield its water. Thus you shall produce water for them from the rock and provide drink for the congregation and their beasts.” Mosche took the rod from before the Lord, as God had commanded him. Mosche and Aaron assembled the congregation in front of the rock; and he said to them, “Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?” And Mosche raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water, and the community and their beasts drank. But the Lord said to Mosche and Aaron, “Because you did not trust Me enough to affirm My sanctity in the sight of the Israelite people, therefore you shall not lead this congregation into the land that I have given them.” (Numbers 20:8-12)

Mosche has given of all of his blood sweat and tears to liberate his people, but in the end will not be given the satisfaction of joining them to complete the mission of entering the Promised Land. And why is this the case?

It seems from hear it is because he did not follow God’s instructions to the letter. Instead of talking to the Rock he hit it. On another level Mosche is excluded because there is a greater lesson to be taught to the Israelite people as to the value of talking over jumping to the physical violence of hitting. But, maybe there is yet another reason Mosche cannot join them on this final journey.

I was thinking about this part of the Torah recently when I saw this amazing video of Mandy Harvey and her tryout for America’s Got Talent. If you have not yet seen it, you must. Check it out:

Her performance is inspiring. What does it mean to see yourself as an aspiring singer and then losing your hearing?  Yes she attributed her ability to her muscle memory, ability to feel the rhythm through her feet, and the use of a tuner. None of those techniques account for her strength in character. How do you bounce back from that? She is  truly impressive. As she sings about in the song, the only barrier was herself getting in the way. And the performance itself was amazing. What does it feel like to share a gift with millions of people without being able to experience it yourself? It seems like the most perfect selfless gift.

Mandy Harvey is a fascinating foil to Mosche in our Torah portion. Like Mandy Harvey being deaf being a reason that she did not want to sing, Mosche has a stutter that was preventing him from taking a leadership role. We read :

“Please, O Lord, I have never been a man of words, either in times past or now that You have spoken to Your servant; I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” ( Exodus 4:10)

Like Mandy Harvey, Mosche perseveres beyond physical limitations and leads his people out of Egypt. Here in Chukat Mosche is being asked again to lead and get water from the Rock. This time he is asked not to strike the rock, but rather to use his voice. This is the core of his insecurity as a leader. Using his voice is a challenge to his leadership. Instead of stuttering in front of his people he hits the rock. The consequence of this that he will not be able to join them when they go into the Land. But maybe it is not a punishment. Like Mandy Harvey standing there giving a gift of her performance without being able to experience it herself, maybe Mosche needs to give a similarly selfless gift of having the people complete the mission without him joining them in the Land.